Sunday, January 07, 2007

Baby Jesus Underwater - East Timor 27th December 2006

My break in Bali was great but it was so hot and humid. Luckily I treated myself to a great hotel where I had a lovely bungalow with air con, satellite TV, swimming pool, king size bed and hot water, all the things I don’t have in East Timor, so much of the time I was collapsed under the air con. The nice thing about Bali at the moment is its off season so the price per night was about £14, the bad thing about the off season is Bali is dead so everyone is desperate for business and the street hassle gets unbearable. I can’t count the number of times I was asked if I want transport.

I nearly got injured as I walked out of Bali airport, walking across the car park to the taxi rank. It was windy and out of the corner of my eye I saw the back of kiosk moving, I jumped back but as the metal sheeting fell it scraped down my arm. After coming out of a land of gun battles, ambon arrows and stone throwing, I nearly get taken out in Bali by a low flying kiosk!

I caught up with some diving instructor mates that have restored a shipwreck, it’s a beautiful boat and we spent a great evening on it drinking beer and watching the sun go down. My other activity in Bali was shopping, it’s great there, you go into a shop and pick out the basic design and they will make the clothes in your shape and size within a couple of days, although I couldn’t find a plain white T-shirt for love nor money!

When I got back to Dili I met up with Robbie for dinner, and he’s got a new goat called Bibi, very cute. Millie sadly did not return. Robbie has painted a sign on the side of his house warning of goat security instead of ‘Beware of the Dog!’

I’ve been busy since I got back; I’ve been teaching a Polish tourist, a Portuguese policeman and an Australian helicopter pilot, you meet interesting people in this job. I’d been diving one morning and had hung up my swimming costume to dry on the line, then grabbed it and put it on in the Esplanada toilets. I sat down to give my students a dive briefing when I felt I was being bitten. I ran and jumped into the swimming pool, my swimming costume was full of ants!

This morning we were at Dili Rock preparing for a dive when an Australian soldier approached us and asked us to avoid using the road. A Black Hawk helicopter was just about to take off from the football field, it was magnificent to watch but the dust was incredible, there is no way it would be safe for a car passing at that time, it was a complete brown out.

I came home this afternoon and started laughing, Wayne was sitting on the porch wearing a flashing Santa Claus hat, looking like one of the grumpy old gits, ‘Ho, bloody ho!’ We were singing Christmas carols on the way home from the dive site yesterday, it felt quite weird in 30◦ with the sun shining. I’ve had Christmases abroad in the heat before but I’ve never worked on Christmas day, this year we are taking a load of customers out diving and Christmas dinner on the beach, should be fun.

All around Dili, nativity scenes are being built. With 94% Catholicism, Christmas is a big deal. The nativity scenes are big, about 2 metres high and a meter tall and each village has one. Jurgen did a deal in his village, where he provided the lights providing they stop singing at 10pm. Unfortunately the fire crackers don’t stop then, they are so loud and sound like gunshots, which is not great in this country at this time. Its funny comparing Guy Fawkes Day in the UK, where everyone stands back to let off a rocket and here, where they think throwing a fire cracker at each other is funny!

I’m house sitting Jurgen’s house at the moment which is great, hot water, air con and TV, I feel like I’m on holiday again. The best thing about it is I get the car for two weeks, a great Pajero with power steering, air con, a handbrake and music. It’s so nice to have a bit of power, reverse out without straining your arm muscles and stop on a hill without playing the clutch and best of all no rattling. The old dive truck serves its purpose but it’s nice to drive a posh car again.

The crime situation here seems to have calmed down a bit, talking to the NZ police it seems there are fewer incidents but when they happen they are more violent. Rather than just stone throwing there are ambon arrows, grenades and firearms. A Timorese guy died recently from gunshot wounds and the Dili rumour mill was it was the Ozzy forces that shot him. However talking to someone in ‘the know’, they said they investigated the site where the body was found and there was no way that the only Ozzy forces guy that opened fire could have killed him, angle, range etc. However, the body was removed immediately and buried and without an autopsy to remove the bullet, nothing can be concluded. The one force guy (not sure if he was army or police) that did open fire, did so when he was faced with a youth armed with a shotgun.

Talking of guns, we had a Kiwi soldier diving with us last week. He came along with his mate who was just there to guard the guns. It was pretty weird seeing machine guns next to the dive equipment.

The rain has started, not daily yet, but when it rains. Within 10 minutes the kitchen was flooding, so we were running round the house making sure there were no electrical cables on the floor, shouting over the noise as the veranda has a tin roof. In nearly all south-east Asian countries you will find the plug sockets half way up the wall, which seems strange and awkwardly placed until you see the rain coming in and realise that there is very sound logic to it. I had to wade ankle deep out to car, my new fancy Bali flip flops are not going to survive very long at this rate. Luckily there were no leaks at Jurgen’s house.

Christmas day went off without a hitch, luckily I was not working on Christmas Eve so it gave me a chance to run Ann around for the last minute bits she needed. I picked up the turkey and the beef and luckily as I’m house-sitting at the moment we used Jurgens fridge to ease the strain on the kitchen. Wayne went up to the dive site with two of the lads, the marquee, decorations and the tanks. The boys slept at the dive site with food and four cans of beer each, so they were happy.

I picked up Robbie en route Christmas morning and he was carrying Bibi Buddah (his baby goat). Slightly worried about the upholstery of the car, I made an agreement with Robbie that if Bibi had a little accident then he would clean it up. I needn’t have worried; she was as good as gold just letting out an occasional bleat from the back seat.

Arriving at the dive site it looked fantastic, a large marquee covered in tinsel and decorations. The boys set up the tables with tablecloths and crackers and within minutes the non divers were tucking into the champagne. The first dive was 20meters visibility at K41 and we went hunting for the Santa’s that Wayne had planted around the previous day. Unfortunately the Santa’s had disappeared, probably eaten by some over zealous parrotfish! But the nativity scene at 18meters was there in all its glory, it was weighted down, we couldn’t have a buoyant baby Jesus.

I finally had my first drink n Christmas day after the second dive, a well earned glass of champagne. This is the first ever Christmas day that I have worked and although I’ve spent a couple of Christmases in Australia, where it is hot, I’ve never dived on Christmas Day.

Boxing day we closed the dive centre, 364 days a year is enough. The intention was to have cold turkey, mashed potatoes and pickle for lunch, but one of our staff appeared to have helped himself to the leftover turkey, so it was cold ham instead. To make it feel more Christmassy, Wayne had managed to get a half decent copy of the new Bond film. So we sat down with our ham and pickles, a glass of champagne and 2 hours of Daniel Craig (the new Bond) in action. All we were missing was the Only Fools and Horses Xmas special!

It seems the Christmas spirit has quietened down the trouble. Christmas day saw Timorese families in their finest outfits going to church. At night they sang, let off fire crackers and fireworks, and as far as I’m aware were no major incidents. Plus we’ve had electricity all Christmas and no rain. I’ve probably spoken too soon though, but I hope it will continue.