Wednesday, May 23, 2007

He Handsome! - East Timor 23rd May 2007

He Handsome! – East Timor 23rd May 2007

The second Presidential elections were held last week and it was a landslide victory to Ramos Horta as rumour predicted. Although it’s not surprising that he got the majority vote, as when a couple of female voters were asked why they were going to vote for Ramos Horta, they replied ‘He Handsome!’ I guess political campaigning is a new concept in East Timor.

The actual voting day appeared to go without too much trouble, although there were rumours that Fretlin were threatening to destroy the polling stations in some areas. Unfortunately the day of the new Presidents inauguration didn’t quite go so smoothly. One local character described it as a ‘Rock concert starring ‘The Throwing Stones’ and ‘The Smashing Pumpkins’’.
A friend was in Tiger Fuels when a guy turned up on a motorbike and walked into the shop. His mobile phone rang and as he pulled it out of his pocket to answer it, out fell a grenade! The guy grabbed it and sped away on his motorbike. Unfortunately because there are very few motorbikes with number plates, it’s a waste of time reporting it, but a grenade going off in a petrol garage doesn’t bear thinking about.

The UN report highlighting the erratic driving practices of UN personnel and the subsequent report in the Sydney Morning Herald, appears to have brought the speed down around town, which is a good thing. I just wish they would apply the mobile phone use rule as well. Waiting to pull out of Tiger Fuels I watched the driver of a UN Police car texting with his eyes completely off the road. In the UK and Australia, using a mobile phone which is not hands free whilst driving is subject to a heavy fine and points on your licence. So if it is illegal to do something in your own country, what makes it acceptable to do here? Here ends the soapbox speech!

It was Fat Old Sod’s birthday last Monday so he threw a party at the Smokehouse which was great. Mrs Sod and I managed to sneak down there earlier and arrange with the girls to put up a banner and some balloons. Since then I’ve been flat out on the diving front with a mixture of courses including teaching Philippine cops Open Water, Discover Scubas and night dives. We have been so busy that Jurgen and I have been sharing the teaching. I had to call him the other day and request in my polite English Manner, ‘Could you please ask Jurgen if he would mind dropping off the DVD after he drops the kids at school please?’ This was translated by his wife as ‘She wants the DVD first thing in the morning!’ Slightly lost in translation, the difference between the over polite English and the direct, efficient Germans!

The night dive at Dili rock this week was stunning, we saw crabs, cuttlefish, squid, shrimp, a huge moray in a hole and a free swimming moray, angel fish and a really unusual nudibranch called a Pleurbranchus grandis, I’ve never seen one before.

As we surfaced, the sky was glittering with stars, which is one of my favourite parts of a night dive. I looked around to check on my divers and noticed that I had gained one! Instead of 3 other torches I counted four. Where the hell had the extra diver appeared from? It wasn’t until the diver said ‘Bon Noite Mister. Fish?’ that I realised it was a local spear fisherman in a divers mask holding an underwater torch. I’ve met this guy at Dili Rock before, he often sits on his haunches, spear in hand watching us kit up, intrigued with what we are doing.

When we got out of the water, the fisherman showed us his catch which included an enormous squid that one of my divers bought for $10. It weighed 7 kilos and was fresh out of the water, I bet it tasted delicious.

Monday, May 07, 2007

The Magic Man - East Timor 7th May 2007

This week is the one year anniversary of the start of the trouble in East Timor. To mark the occasion we had a Lulik ceremony where we each chucked a stone at the wall to mark hopefully the last stone to be thrown, the Timorese however took a more solemn approach and lined the streets with candles to mark the occasion.

Talking of Lulik ceremonies, our housekeepers youngest child has been sick for 10 days, so she took him to the doctors but he hasn’t got any better, so now she is taking a few days off and travelling 4 hours to Same to see her village Lulik man (witch doctor), so much for modern medicine. Good news though, she returned today and it seems the magic has worked.

A friend of mine had a bit of a neighbourhood dispute while I was away; unfortunately their house was stuck between the guy the village had a gripe with, and some feisty villagers that would not make the Red Socks. Their aim with the stones was so bad that they were landing on my friend’s roof instead. To solve this, the Lulik man of the village took some soil from the battleground, mixed it with water and made both parties drink it, so that if anyone fights on that ground again they will face the curse of Lulik magic. Case closed, the Timorese are very superstitious and wouldn’t dare upset the gods.

I love some of the ways Timorese translates, some of my favourites are:-
Ulun-fatuk moras – Head stone sickness (Headache)
Isin rua – Body two (Pregnant)
Laran Sa’e – Inside to go up (Feel like vomiting)

Recently, the incidents against Malai have increased, not major incidents but more opportunistic. These types of incidents can happen (and do happen) in any major city of the world, muggings, hotel rooms burgled, car vandalism, etc. However, a couple came round to return some snorkelling equipment on Saturday and they had been robbed by a couple of guys, one wielding a machete. They came out of the water to find a couple of guys by the car demanding money, the girl made a run for it and while the guys were distracted, the boyfriend gunned the engine and managed to screech away picking up his girlfriend en-route, not before they had lost a wallet and a camera though. Rest assured we always take security when we go snorkelling or diving, it’s just a shame that we need to.

Talking of screeching away, the UN has been given a ticking off this week. At a town hall meeting this week it was announced that in 2 months there have been over 80 traffic accidents where UN vehicles were the only vehicles involved. Last Saturday, a UN car was stopped at 1.35 am because of erratic driving. Needless to say the driver was drunk, but then proceeded to assault the police!

In response to this incident, UN Security set up a check point between Pig Bridge (Yes it really is known as that!) and the Dili 2001 Hotel. Between the hours of 1 am and 4 am, 26 UN vehicles were stopped, 4 UN staff members tested positive to a breath test. 1 refused to take the test! 3 vehicles and 2 weapons were impounded and 7 non UN staff were being carried as passengers in UN cars without permission. Mmmm, alcohol, guns and driving, a pretty lethal combination me thinks!

In the same speech it was stated ‘Many of you say that the driving conditions here can be challenging’. I don’t disagree, what with taxis doing 15km per hour, motorbikes not having mirrors, pigs/goats/dogs/kids running out in the road unexpectedly, indicators that are ornaments, pot holes and now traffic lights that are sporadically adhered to. But we were always taught to ‘read the road ahead’, if the UN slowed down a bit, then they may be able to find it less challenging and decrease the number of accidents!

The Presidential elections were not 200,000 votes over; apparently someone got the decimal in the wrong place! However, to win the election the candidate must have 50% plus 1 vote, which none of the candidates did. So the re-election is on Wednesday, and so far there has been no trouble just a few isolated incidents in the normal trouble spots. The atmosphere actually seems calmer and more positive since my return, taxis are actually running just after dark and it feels safer to walk around at night. Obviously with an air of caution, there are still absolute no go areas. I think everyone is sick to the back teeth of the violence and hopefully the June parliamentary elections will close the chapter on this unsettled year. Only time will tell, you come to expect the unexpected in East Timor.

Diving has been a bit quiet this week, mainly due to me being stuffed up with a cold. A real shame because the water is calm and the visibility is about 20 meters. Still it looks like what was the little rainy season we had is over, so the visibility just gets better and better from now on.