Medical Mayhem – East Timor 18th June 2008

At the age of 12 I joined St John’s Ambulance, it was a compromise with my stepmother, if I did something useful, then I could go to the youth club afterwards. So after an hour of dressing fake wounds and creating perfect roller bandages, I would share a coca-cola with my wanna-be skinhead mates at the local Holy Family church youth club.

In my teenage years, however, St John’s proved very useful; you could get to see bands free. Ok, you had to wear a very embarrassing uniform and you were always at the back, but you got guaranteed entrance.

As a diving instructor I teach EFR (Emergency First Response) which is not much different from the St John’s of years ago, simulated situations, plastic dummies and fake pain. Until last Saturday I’d never actually had to use my training in a real emergency, and I hope with all my heart, I never have to again.

In East Timor, crash helmets are supposed to be mandatory, but it’s a complete farce. You often see thin plastic crash helmets rolling down the street where they have come off because the rider has not done the strap up. In a climate such as East Timor, crash helmets are pretty hot but young lads also want to be ‘seen’ on a motorbike because they are still luxury items, most people can’t afford one. That’s why you often see a family of five on one motorbike, and if you are lucky the main rider only has a crash helmet perched on his head. The local Dili motorbike riders also have a habit of removing the mirrors on the motorbike, because it looks ‘cool’ which creates a traffic culture of merge and swerve. As a car driver, the slower the better as you never know what’s going to pull out on you.

On Saturday I was in the Hotel Timor pool teaching a rescue course when we suddenly heard a sickening screech then crunch. It took a couple of seconds to register but then I was out of the pool and in the street as fast as my legs would carry me. One of our Divemaster Trainees was already ahead of me. We emerged to find two young lads only about 16 or 17 lying in the street both with serious head injuries. One apparently was wearing one of these cheap plastic crash helmets that came off immediately upon impact, the other wasn’t wearing one at all.

It does not matter how much training you have had, nothing prepares you for reality. There was absolutely nothing I could do except keep the head still and check for breathing, they were so badly injured that you just were willing the ambulance to arrive, I felt so helpless. There was an Australian army guy there that was amazing, he packed and dressed one of the guys head. It was the second major traffic incident involving a motorbike that he had dealt with in a month. But what really got me was the onlookers, I know it happens in every country, but fellow Timorese taking photographs of a guy that’s lost 2 pints of blood on the street really sickened me.

The first ambulance arrived after 20 minutes but it seemed like hours. They had no neck brace but at least they had a back board, the second ambulance didn’t even have that. Seeing the two young lads off in the ambulance you knew there was nothing you could do for them and their chances of survival were slim to zero. On Monday evening I found out there as a shrine laid out on the road, one the boys had died, just after his sixteenth birthday.

What an absolute crazy waste of life! That lad were someone’s son, brother or nephew. It costs $30 to buy a full face padded helmet here, ok, it may not be up to Australian or UK standards but at least it gives some chance of survival. The attitude here seems to be that crash helmets are worn to avoid a fine, but the education doesn’t extend to the fact that mandatory crash helmet wearing is there to save lives. One of the guys I used to work with cut a star shape in the top of his helmet for ventilation because it was ‘too hot’. If he had come off of his motorbike the sharp plastic edged would have impaled in his skull but that was a risk he was willing to take even though he actually owned a full face padded helmet.

$30 however, out here is a lot of money. On the average wage of $2 per day, that’s half a month’s salary but the loss of a loved one is a hell of a price to pay.

Later in the week I had my own experience of Timorese medical care. While teaching the same rescue course, I got my foot stuck in a hole between rocks. At the time I was carrying a lot of equipment, so when the wave came, my foot stayed where it was and the rest of my body went sideways, spraining the foot badly. After two days of hobbling around I went to see the Portuguese doctor who wanted me to get an x-ray to ensure there wasn’t a fracture.

There are only two places in Dili where non military/UN folk can get an x-ray. One is clinic that’s open from 12 until 2 and the other is Dili National Hospital with its one tired x-ray machine and its single only operator. The hospital itself is under construction, so there are planks over walkways which were hard to navigate with a painful strapped up foot, let alone a wheelchair!

After locating the X-Ray department whose walls are adorned with ‘DANGER RADIATION’ posters, I gave in my doctor’s letter and was told I had to pay, which I expected. What I didn’t expect is payment has to be made in the Laboratory which is two buildings away. So off I hobbled only to find the entrance I had been told to go to was closed for construction, so I hobbled back the way I came and tried a different way. Once I got to the lab a friend of mine who worked there took pity on me and led me through the maze of corridors to the payment section, I’d never had found it on my own.

Back at the x-ray department there were around 60 people in the waiting room. Here you see the poverty of the country, young mums with faded, ill fitting clothes, mosquito scarred legs, carrying their stick thin sick children in sarongs tied around their neck. The whole hospital looks tired, antiquated equipment, grubby walls and posters stuck up with yellowing sticky tape. The renovated blocks look good though and according to the doctor it is so much better than a few weeks ago when the IDP’s were still living there. Then you had tents between every building, with cooking fires and livestock tethered at the entrance of the operating room and Intensive Care Ward, not a hygienic environment for a hospital. I’m glad I don’t get sick very often.

Luckily my foot wasn’t broken, only sprained, so I’m going to be careful where I put my feet in the future, I’d rather not repeat this experience.

Playing Battleships Again – East Timor 12th February 2008

In my new flat I have a TV, a receiver and a digi box. I have all this equipment with cables everywhere and I can only get one channel, the BBC World News! Watching my one and only channel yesterday morning I was updated about the news of Dili, but I had already been informed by the more reliable Dili grapevine. The president Jose Ramos Horta had been shot and was in a critical condition being treated in Darwin, the assassins also tried to shoot the Prime Minister Xanana Gusmao, but he was unharmed and the leader of the rebels Alfredo was shot and killed.

Needless to say we were advised to restrict movements around town and there is a curfew for the next couple of days between 8 p.m. and 6 a.m. The new PM of Australia, Kevin Rudd sent over a load more troops after a request from Xanana and declaring a state of emergency. So at the moment we have HMAS Perth strutting its stuff just off the waters of Dili, the waters of which at the moment are terrible with all the rain we have been having. It’s a feeling of Déjà Vu, we were having the same weather when the first battleship appeared in May 2006.

Obviously with such shocking news, people are worried about the repercussions, but it seems that Ramos Horta is pulling through and the International Security Force is trying to round up the remaining rebels. Without their leader, let’s hope that that faction will lose momentum. Apart from that, the city seems calm.

In other news, the rations given to the IDP’s has been halved, trying to persuade them to their homes. It was feared that there could have been a backlash but I’ve heard no reports of any troubles at the camps.

But the best snippet of this week is a European delegation that were invited to attend a meeting in East Timor’s capital, Dili. They were a little concerned when no-one was waiting for them at the airport, the telephone numbers they had been given didn’t work and no-one at the airport seemed to know anything about their arrival. It’s probably because they were waiting at Delhi airport, India!

No Drunking Bar!– East Timor 25th January 2008

There are more and more Malais around town with the UN and NGOs’s, which creates a higher demand for cars, accommodation and unfortunately, prostitutes. There also seems to be more IDP’s especially around the harbour area, so much so that they are camped out on the slipway causing problems for anyone trying to get their boat in and out of the water. The Harbour View cafe should be renamed the IDP View cafe because that’s all you can see.

So why are there increases in the IDP’s? There are a few reasons; one, some people cannot move home because other people have moved into their homes. Two, the government is offering payouts for the IDP’s to move, but you have to be an IDP in the first place to get the money. Three, which is the most concerning, is if you move out to an IDP camp, you get free water, free rice and in some cases electricity and satellite TV and you can rent your house out to a Malai for $1000 per month. Given that the average wage is $2 per day, even if you have 3 members of the family working you would still make a 455% profit, a bit of a no brainer!

In a recent clampdown around 100 prostitutes and pimps were arrested and are now sitting in jail awaiting deportation. It’s mainly Chinese girls that come in on tourist visas. Several bars have been closed down including one that proudly announces it is a ‘No Drunking Bar’. You can’t get a drink but you can buy a girl.

In East Timor if you are looking prosperous (i.e. a bit porky) it’s a good thing, it means you can afford to eat. Whereas if you are looking dark, it’s a bad thing as fair is beautiful. I was talking to a New Zealand cop and on the same day we had both been insulted. I was looking for a bicycle as mine had been nicked on Xmas Eve. $200 was out of my price range so I asked to see bikes around the $70-$100 price range. I was shown one without gears, but I was advised by the shop assistant not to buy it because, quote ‘In two weeks it will break because your body is so big!’ Similarly the NZ cop was told after returning from holiday, by one of the waitresses at the Espalanda ‘Manna (sister) your skin is so black! Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

Crash helmets are supposed to be compulsory, but unfortunately you get a family of five on a moped but only the driver is wearing a helmet and usually they are the thin plastic helmets that don’t come anywhere near to the safety helmets required for skateboarding in the US. I saw the classic today; a motorcyclist had a helmet which had split, so he had fixed it with bright yellow cable ties. Unfortunately, he had not trimmed the cable ties so his helmet looked like he had a bright yellow Mohican.

I’ve found a semi reliable taxi driver to take me to work. Most taxi drivers in Dili must develop back problems as they black out their windscreen so far down that they have to stoop to see out of it. Manuel is no exception, he’s not only got blacked out windows, but he’s got about 8 inches of unadulterated windscreen to peer out of. The difference with Manuel is he doesn’t have a huge woofer in the back of his cab, so you are not tortured with over loud Indo music and only hearing the base. Manuel plays West Life and has Air Conditioning. One of his first comments to me was ‘My Taxi is my God’, given that most Timorese taxis don’t sound like they are going to make it to your destination, I’ve decided to give Manuel a go.

We have had so much rain recently that most people are coming down with either stomach problems or mosquito related diseases. Touch wood, I’ve managed to avoid both. The weather though doesn’t do much for business; however it’s a great time to do rescue courses. The worse the conditions, the better the course. Some days, after heavy downpours of rain, it’s like diving in England, but without the cold. There is one advantage of poor visibility though; you can get much closer to the fish. Dili Rock on Thursday I had an amazing dive.

'Used to be.....' - East Timor 6th May 2007

All is quiet at the moment, however there has been shooting near Viqueque and a hand grenade went off in Fatuhada. I hope it’s a one off incident and they are not upping the ante. Until now the weapons of choice have been stones and ambon arrows. That’s probably why there is such a low death toll. Don’t get me wrong, any death in a conflict is a needless waste of life, but considering how long the unrest has been going on here; the death toll is very low in comparison to other countries in similar circumstances.

The whole place seems so different from a year ago; a sense of normality is starting to come back, although the IDP camps seem to be a permanent fixture. The huge camp at Metinaro Barracks now seems to be a living, breathing town, complete with shops, restaurants and according to rumour, two brothels.

A year ago Xanana had just declared a ‘State of Emergency’ and I saw my first Ozzy foot patrols. It was a state of emergency, people were running in droves to the hills or IDP camps as their houses were being burned down, the supermarkets had been closed for nearly a week and food and petrol were scarce. Now, the Ozzy foot patrols are still around but you don’t blink an eye at the sight of camouflage. New restaurants, bars and businesses are popping up everywhere around town, it’s hard to keep up.

Ryan from the Lonely Planet has been in town to get an update for the new East Timor guide. He came across a very popular saying in Dili, which is ‘You know where such and such used to be?’ No I’m afraid I don’t! Whereas in the UK you are given directions by the pubs, here directions are given on the basis of where things used to be! Very helpful!

One of Ryan’s frustrations is that he has to put the proper official names of roads and places on the maps, not the names they are known by. For example the road that we live on is officially named ‘Avenue de Portugal’, but it’s known by the locals as Pantai Kelapa (Coconut Beach) or the Beach Road.

Other common names include:-

Banana Road – The only dual carriageway in Dili that funnily enough is lined with banana trees.

Pig Bridge – A small bridge that has always got pigs feeding under it.

Rubbish Ridge – An unofficial dumping ground up the hill, which was recently cleared by a bulldozer pushing all the rubbish over the edge of the ridge. Very eco friendly!

Jesus’ Backside – The beach behind the Jesus statue

Muscle Beach - The beach in front of the Caz Bar where the GNR work out

Cock Rock – This was named by a recent visitor and needs no explanation!

Ryan had his work cut out for him visiting all the new hotels and restaurants. Unfortunately the first day he arrived we had a freak downpour and I arrived back from a dive to find a power cut, Nelson stuffing towels into crevices and Ann and Wayne running round the house lifting any electrical wires and appliances off of the floor. By the time Ryan arrived, the electricity was back but the veranda was soaked through with soggy cushions and a very muddy floor. Two days later he was laid up in bed with Timor Tummy after eating at one of the old favourite haunts, what a great impression he must have!

Another interesting couple turned up at our door, Liliana and Emile are from Switzerland and have been travelling for 22 years in the same Toyota Truck. East Timor was country number 156, but they got themselves into the Guiness Book of Records at country number 114! Their truck is amazing, bright turquoise with every country they have visited, (in order), painted down the side. Lilliana showed me the inside; they have everything in there from a stove, to a pull out sink to a spice rack. A real mobile home, amazing!

I recently paid a visit to Ross's new place. It ‘Used to be’ the Monkey Bar, but when the crisis hit, he got the contract to do the Ozzy troops laundry. With the money he made from that he has opened a fantastic furniture shop with beautiful, stylish pieces imported from Indonesia, that’s one thing that is sorely lacking here. Before Ross arrived, I spotted a trampoline in his garden and couldn’t resist a bounce. It was great fun; I haven’t done that in years.

Taxis are still not running after dark, so some of Ross's staff gave Robbie and I a lift to One More Bar where a great Timorese band were playing. As I climbed in the front of the minivan, I heard a squeal like a pig, it turned out I had stepped on a chicken which was in the dark foot well of the van. That’s another first for me; well you don’t expect a chicken to be there do you?

Ann was invited to the Birthday party of the owner of Hotel California, a new hotel and bar that has opened on the beach. The view over the bay watching the sunset is fantastic. The bar itself is decorated with shells and stones and very stylishly done, although personally I would rather see shells on the beach. The food was great and the same band as I saw a couple of nights before were playing. They opened with ‘Hotel California’ which of course was very appropriate, then played a mixture of Portuguese and English songs. It doesn’t matter whether the song is slow or fast, the Timorese all dance to in the same way, arm around the waist, the other hand holding their partners hand and held away from their body in a kind of waltzing shuffle. When Ann got up and strutted her stuff to a fast number, I watched a table of Timorese girls giggling shyly and imitating her moves. I wonder what they would make of a rave?

On the way to a dive at K41, we pulled in by the side of the road to join the rest of the village watch a Blackhawk helicopter take off. It had landed on their football pitch. They are amazing things to watch, but so noisy! It reminded me of the Vietnam movies. I was teaching an American UN volunteer at the time, so to make car conversation we started comparing English English against American English. It went something along the lines of......

‘So this is the hood?’......’No, it’s the bonnet’
‘So this is the Windshield?’......’No, it’s the Windscreen’
‘So this is the Trunk?’.......’No, it’s the boot’
‘So this is the Sidewalk?’.......’No, it’s the pavement’
Etc, etc.

Then he asked me why we spelt theatre and centre wrong. Bloody Americans, you’d think they invented the English language! However, despite the language differences he was a great student and our dive at Ricks Rapture was excellent. The clarity of the water that morning was exceptional and you could see for 20 to 25 meters.

Another great dive this week was at Dili Rock where we spent a full five minutes watching Fred the turtle, literally 3 meters away from us, until he got bored and buggered off. I also saw my second frog fish in East Timor this week, a little lemon one. I think Andy thought that Jurgen and I had got Nitrogen Narcosis at 12 meters, coz we were doing a silly little underwater scuba dance after we had seen it.

We’ve got Whales – East Timor 21st November 2006

A great day at K41, one of my favourite dive sites in East Timor. We spotted at least 3 humpback whales fairly close to the shore. Watching the coastline we saw them come up 4 times and the last time after a huge spout of water we saw the tail of one of the whales as it dived, awesome! The next day at Bobs Rock we had another humpback much closer to shore this time. People are reporting seeing them now on an almost daily basis from the shores of Dili itself.

I had dinner with Robbie the other night and he told me with sadness that Miss Millie (his pet goat) had disappeared. Robbie suspects’ foul play as the neighbour was always complaining that the free roaming Miss Millie was ruining his garden by eating all the plants. According to the neighbour Miss Millie was last seen on Saturday trotting up the mountain, but Robbie heard rumours that Millie was tied up in the local village on Friday night, which in Robbie’s mind makes the neighbour the prime suspect. However, Robbie did add that Millie was pregnant and could have gone up the mountain to give birth. I hope this is the case. To be continued…….or not!

We were off to have coffee that night at the Timor Hotel (Dilis’ poshest establishment). Whilst walking from the car to the entrance we heard strange grunting noises from the car park next door. It was the Kiwi army doing a full blown Hukka. Only in East Timor!

I’ve got so used to seeing the military and the UN Police around, I don’t think anything of it any more. I’m even teaching some of the Philippine police to dive. The pool we use is in the Hotel Esplanada which is now the residence of 25 Kiwi police, who are often in the pool late afternoons supping a beer. One of the exercises I have to teach my students is the CESA which involves them swimming slowly from one end of the pool to another on one breath. To make sure they don’t hold their breath or take a sneaky one, I get them to sing whilst doing this, and practice on the surface with a snorkel before doing it underwater. One of my students was unsuccessful on his first attempt so jokingly said ‘Ill have to improve my singing’. This was met by loud applause and cheers and a ‘Yes please mate’ from the surrounding Kiwi police pool mates.

Its great working with different cultures, I’ve discovered that the philippinos ‘Want to be together’ in everything they do. They also like a precise agenda, have all the latest gadgets and adore taking photos of each other. Wayne jokingly asked them several times today if they were sure they were not Japanese.

The 12th of November is Remembrance Day for the massacre at Santa Cruz. In 1991 hundreds of young Timorese marched peacefully to the Santa Cruz cemetery to place flowers on the grave of a student that had been shot dead at the church two weeks before. As they reached the cemetery the Indonesian troops opened fire and mowed them down killing hundreds.

The atmosphere that day was a little tense as the situation here is quite volatile. As we drove to Backpackers that night, the streets were lined with candles, each one of them representing a dead relative or friend. It was quite eerie seeing all these tiny lights on streets that would normally be completely dark as Dili does not have street lights. When we got to Backpackers we found the restaurant closed as the staff were scared of the crowd on the street, but as I watched the kids walk by a couple were playing guitar and the kids were singing Timorese songs, in peace.

The central areas for trouble in Dili are the IDP camps, especially the ones in central Dili, the Airport, outside Hotel Timor, the hospital and the Obrigado Barracks. New IDP camps have been built further out of the city, but the only way you can get the IDP’s to move to these new sites is withdraw supplies. You cannot force them to move as it would be against their human rights. So supplies of food and water to the old sites were stopped on the 16th. Of course this transition would never be without its problems and yesterday the 20th, came a turning point in the troubles, the first Malai was murdered. It was a Brazilian priest on his way to the hospital. Who knows what is going to happen next and what the repercussions of this will be.

Bagpipes and Guns - East Timor 25th Oct 2006

The British Embassy, Dili, East Timor closed Friday the 13th of October 2006. It was really a very sad occasion because the staff there have been brilliant through the crisis, and like all Brits, we get very patriotic at times. They couldn’t find a Brit to play the bagpipes, so a young Ozzy soldier arrived with his mate, laid down his machine gun and took out his bagpipes. Then in full army uniform including flack jacket, he played the bagpipes as the British flag was lowered! A surreal moment in East Timor again! The ceremony was concluded with champagne and a Union Jack cake, cut by Jamon (the British Ambassadors husband), because it was his birthday that day also.

I’ve been trying to teach Jamon to dive, which is interesting as he is Thai and doesn’t read English, so the theory is a challenge as Thai looks like worms to me. When I asked him ‘What is the most important rule of scuba diving?’ to which the answer should be ‘Never hold your breath’, he thought about it carefully and after about 3 minutes he said ‘I know, no alcohol before diving!’

Another surreal moment happened in the Esplanada pool where I was teaching a load of kids Bubblemaker. Two Blackhawk helicopters swooped low over the hotel and the kids all started waving. This is what 8 year olds in Dili have got used to!

The Australian Defence Force has been heavily criticised for taking their APV’s (Armoured Patrol Vehicles), into the sea to test the seals. Stupidly they took them in at low tide off of the main beach which is strewn with coral, you would think they would have thought about this, instead heaps of coral was damaged and the soldiers in question are receiving counselling for their inappropriate behaviour! To make matters worse, the beach, Christo Rei is Dili’s favourite snorkelling beach because of the calm water and beautiful coral.

It’s apparently whale season, but I haven’t seen any yet, but we are starting to see quite a few sharks. Two of my students saw a 2½ meter white tip reef shark on both Open Water 3 and 4. Spoilt for the rest of their diving days, now nothing will seem as good, until they see their first whale shark or manta that is.

The trouble here in Dili is escalating and for the first time in 6 months it’s on our doorstep. A report was issued about the unlawful killing of several policemen and the recommendations of actions to go with it, which included charging several prominent figures with murder. Everyone was holding their breath waiting for this report to come out knowing that it would have repercussions.

The trouble now seems to be throughout Dili including outside our dive centre. We watched little scroats lob stones at motorbikes and cars as they drove past, unfortunately they have a whole beach full of ammunition. In retaliation a taxi drove past and it’s passenger fired an ambon arrow at the main ring leader who was holding his child at the time. Luckily, the arrow missed, but all hell broke loose with the village boys screaming down the road with rocks. A few minutes later, it was like a scene out of The Sweeney, GNR, AFP and UN Police with flashing lights everywhere. Of course the ringleader protested his innocence, he was minding his own business, carrying his toddler at his sisters/aunties/wife’s vegetable stall when unprovoked, the gang from East fired an arrow at him. Of course the ringleader failed to mention to the police that he had been throwing stones for the last two days and actually was the organiser of a gang of stone throwers. The vegetable stall is actually doubling up as lookout point and a bunker, and the boys are starting to get clever by changing the colour of their T-shirts as soon as the forces arrive.

The AFP came to talk to us, but we are reluctant to get involved as so far we have remained neutral. If we get involved the business could be targeted which could put ourselves and especially, our staff in danger. However, it is getting incredibly boring, it’s so futile. Most the time it is just wanton vandalism, but for the first time since I’ve been here I feel that I could accidentally get caught in the crossfire.

There have been some more serious incidents though, two decapitated, limbless bodies were found in sacks at the Komoro market. Well that’s how the press reported it. Speculation is that it was this incident that has sparked all the trouble down the beach road where we live. The airport is a no go area again, they even had to close it intermittently over the last few days. There is a very large IDP camp at the Airport which has always been rife with trouble.

Today the trouble kicked off again right outside our gates, an Eastener was chased into the sea by rock throwers. The helicopter circling above had seen it and the police arrived in force with riot shields, pepper spray, batons and guns filled with bean bag shots. They soon let their presence be known. I overheard one female officer shout ‘Now fuck off you little shits!’ Feisty lady! After they had dispersed the crowd and issued warnings, three of them leant against the wall opposite and reapplied their suntan lotion, one even managed to squirt the bottle down his trousers, oops!

The IDP camps are still throughout the city and at the Metinaro barracks, looking more and more permanent every time we go past them. A huge problem will be when rainy season starts. We have already had one downpour and when it rains here, it really rains. The IDP camps are going to turn into mud baths rife with disease through poor or no sanitation and mosquito borne diseases such as malaria and dengue fever. What a mess! But they are still too scared to go home.

Wot No Electricity! - East Timor 25th August 2006

Its been a while, but take that as good news as things are calming down :-)

All was quiet in East Timor for a few weeks and then just before I went to Bali the stone throwing started again. We were at Dili Rock just kitting up for a dive when an Aussie policeman stopped for a chinwag and recounted a story from the previous evening:-

He received a call from the IDP camp near the airport reporting some trouble, so when they arrived a male Timorese IDP was complaining that they were not safe because they had no security. The first policeman then asked him where his security was, the man replied ‘I don’t know’, to which the second policeman replied ‘You do know, you stabbed him yesterday!’ If it wasn’t so tragic, it would be funny.

There are certain things you get used to here that would be totally unacceptable in a western world, like electricity cuts. In East Timor, electricity is incredibly expensive, as are most things. To purchase electricity in Dili you need to prepay at an office in central Dili where they issue with a computer generated code to punch into your meter. The problem is when you try to pay for electricity when the whole of Dili is having a power cut, their computers don’t work, because there is no electricity! Only in East Timor do you shrug your shoulders at this and say ‘Welcome to Timor’.

When you arrive in East Timor with a fresh pair of eyes, you notice things that are different, and then you get used to the place. One newcomer pointed out today that there is not one traffic light in the whole of East Timor, 6 months I’ve been driving around and never noticed that.

Any newcomers to Dili now, unfortunately won’t get a great first impression of the country. After getting off the plane in the grounds of the airport, you pass Aussie army tents on which some bored soldier has put up an Australian flag and cardboard signs saying ‘Casa De Mutley’, ‘Diligaf’ and ‘Sydney → A Bloody long way!’ After going through baggage reclaim your first sight will be an Australian APV, behind which is a huge IDP camp, ‘Welcome to East Timor’. In truth though in the past few weeks the IDP camps are getting smaller as people are returning home and there are no longer any road blocks.

There are however, still outbreaks of stone throwing and arson in the city, which appear to be organised, all going off at the same time. We were having a BBQ the other night when Major Wayne and Major Sergeant (Yes, he really is called that!) suddenly got a call and had to go. A good excuse for leaving a party. I arrived back from diving last week to find 12 police cars outside the dive centre. Some local lads were throwing stones so the ‘Joint Task Force’ was called. (No, they don’t deliver Whacky Backy!). Talk about rapid reaction force, although 12 combined Malaysian, Australian and Portuguese police vehicles seems a little excessive.

Ann is teaching the local kids on the veggie stall opposite some words in English, they now can count out your change in English and say thank you. Unfortunately they can also say ‘One Dollar’ and have started to beg from the Malai, a habit we are trying to discourage, but its getting more widespread as more troops and UN are pouring in and don’t know any better. You can’t blame the kids if they can make a quick buck.

I had to go to Bali recently to get a new passport because after 3 years mine was full. I had a choice of going to the honorary consulate in Bali or the British Embassy in Jakarta, a tough choice that one! Bali is wonderful, a beautiful scenic island which is magical and musical, such a refreshing change from East Timor which can be tough going at times. Of course I dived; you can’t go to Bali without doing The Liberty wreck at Tulamben which was fabulous for really unusual critters such as pigme seahorses, nudibranch, and harlequin ghost pipefish, as well as big fish such as Napoleon Wrasse. The unusual thing about Tulamben is the local women of the village carry the gear and the tanks, up to three at a time, one on each shoulder and one on their head. Their posture puts Miss Jean Brodie to shame. For this they get 40 cents per tank from the dive centres which the village has used to create a cultural centre in the village. But it extends further than the women because the men police the reef to ensure that any fishing is done on the outer reefs which are not accessible to divers, so the inner reefs are not damaged by fishing equipment and the fish are not scared off. It’s a great scheme.

I also dived with H and Camilla who own Global Aquatic. I had to write a thank you email to them both, Camilla for the diving and H for the hangovers, they are both really good fun. Camilla took me to Manta Ray cove where surprise, surprise, I saw my first Manta Rays, two of them playing above us, awesome. I told Camilla she was now my best friend forever!

I had a brilliant time in Bali with good company, good diving and good food. It was hard getting back on the plane to East Timor, just like the normal feeling when you go on holiday and then have to go back to work. However, things are starting to get busy, new faces coming through the door and some old ones returning. It’s amazing how a break can recharge your batteries and get you enthusiastic again.

And Pigs Might Fly – East Timor 25th June 2006

Terrible news! Ginger Da Pig is dead! Robbie the adoptive owner is launching a full scale investigation into the case because Ginger disappeared in mysterious circumstances. Robbie went to ‘One More Bar’ where Millie the goat and Ginger Da Pig were housed, to take them for their daily walk around town. When he found Ginger he was basking in the sun, trotters outstretched, so Robbie assumed he was asleep, it was only later it occurred to him that pigs normally roll in wet mud and lie in the shade to keep themselves cool, they don’t normally sunbathe. Thinking nothing of it at the time he duly took Millie for her walk and then returned the next day to repeat the ritual, only the next day Ginger had disappeared.

Obviously concerned as to Gingers whereabouts, Robbie started questioning the staff. The first answer he got was Ginger had been bitten by a snake, yeah right! Where Millie and Ginger are housed there are also ducks that would have created alarming if there was a snake around, so Robbie probed further. The same witness then said the pig had died of starvation! Now given that this is a 50lb pig with enough meat on him to feed a family for a week or two, it was very unlikely that Ginger had starved to death in 15 hours. Also there was no body to verify this claim. Apparently Ginger had been taken away and buried, yeah right again! In a country where rice is in short supply, a 50lb pig is not going to be given a dignified funeral without passing through the bodies of several Timorese first.

Getting increasingly incensed, Robbie started to question the kitchen staff, their explanation was that Ginger had been bitten by a crocodile! At this point of the story I retorted ‘Yeah, and Pigs might fly’, which had us both laughing as it was as feasible an explanation to Gingers demise as any other that Robbie had heard.

In East Timor, the Timorese are very superstitious about crocodiles; they have this ongoing folk tale about an albino crocodile that terrorises fishermen. We tried to imagine a crocodile walking up the beach, across a main road, over a park area, and then scaling a 6ft fence to bite Ginger. Needless to say the vision didn’t work. The Timorese language is very basic, not having many descriptive words, so a headache is ‘Big stone in head’ in Timorese. So maybe a small crocodile was actually an iguana, but hardly likely to kill a 50lb pig.

So Inspector Robbie is no further forward in his investigations as without a body there can be no autopsy to conclude the cause of death. Was Ginger murdered or died of natural causes, if he was murdered was it Colonel Mustard in the drawing room with the lead pipe or was it the Timorese chef? I don’t think we will ever know.

Over the last couple of days we have had massive protests in Dili, thousands of people in Dili town centre all shouting ‘Go Alkatiri’. They are not supporting him; they all want the Prime Minister Alkatiri to resign. He has been linked with supplying arms to civilians to take out anyone who opposes him, a claim he obviously vehemently denies. We were returning from a dive at Dili Rock, much to the amusement of the Malaysian troops as the dive site is between two of their road blocks. As we were driving back, more and more trucks of people joined us on the road, women and children included, all singing and honking their horns on the way to the government building. I’ve just watched them return from the protest, a motorcycle convoy waving the East Timor flag following by trucks and microlets with bodies hanging off everywhere. I thought I’d seen the most people possible on one microlet (minibus) in Cambodia. But this beats it, there must have been 30 people crammed on one. The announcement regarding Alkatiri was supposed to have been yesterday, but due to the protest they delayed it until today (still waiting). I hope it doesn’t drag on too long though, as when a crowd that big gets hot and bored, young lads get restless and that’s when the sale of matches skyrockets.

There are still thousands of families in refugee camps. As well as food and water, they have been given soap, shampoo and rather spacious, robust tents. Unfortunately now the camps have a look of permanence about them as the tents are often better than their normal living conditions. Many of the camps are empty during the day as the adults go off to work and the children to school. It seems it’s the night that the people have the most fear of returning to their own homes. There was a rumour of a curfew, but it was only rumour, the Timorese people just don’t want to be on the street at night at the moment.

Needless to say with this activity, the hotels are full of journalists again and Wayne is reemployed as press, so I’m covering the little diving we are doing. A couple of nights ago we returned to the old haunt The Esplanada to meet with some of Wayne’s journalist mates, when in walked two camouflage clad New Zealand soldiers with MP armbands. Ann and I decided that the MP definitely stood for ‘Major Perve’! I think I need to get out more!

Plastic Refugees – East Timor 7th June 2006

The streets of Dili have quietened down, there are still trouble spots but they are mainly in specific areas, not widespread. Outside the Parliament building there are signs thanking the Australians for their intervention but this opinion is mixed. In some areas the gangs are chanting ‘Australians go home’, the Ozzies are disarming people but in some cases this is the only means the Timorese people have of protecting themselves. Wayne came across an Australian woman called Rocky who has run a rehabilitation centre in Dili for years. At the time the Ozzie troops had got all her staff on the floor and were disarming them. Rocky tried to explain to the troops, that her staff were not carrying weapons to loot and fight but to protect themselves and the centre. But the Australian’s job is to disarm and that’s what they did. Wayne met Rocky a couple of days later behind a barricade, when she enquired about her centre Wayne had the unenviable job of explaining that her years of hard work and dedication were burning down as they spoke. The staff could no longer protect the building.

One of the temporary staff in the Esplanada asked Wayne about his house and explained roughly where it was. Wayne checked the area out, now hasn’t got the heart to tell him the whole area is razed to the ground.

There seems to be an East/West divide going on in the city, people cannot return home for fear of being attacked by their neighbours because they were born in the wrong part of the country. We have divers for Saturday but I can’t take any staff out with me because it’s not safe for them. One of the ABC news trucks was attacked with stones on Monday because they stupidly took an East East Timorese interpreter with them to a West East Timorese area.

On the positive side, there was a peaceful march by the rebels yesterday. They delivered a petition to Xanana demanding the resignation of Alkatiri. It went off without incident which is encouraging.

Walking around town you see the refugee camps. These are set up in the squares and churches in the open air housing hundreds of families. What struck me was the use of plastic and nylon, plastic sheeting for sun protection, nylon rope for washing lines, plastic bottles for water, plastic baskets for possessions and plastic bags for food. I saw a young mother washing her baby in a plastic bowl, scooping water over him with a plastic cup. The only organic thing I saw in these camps was the wood on the fire. You see an abundance of plastic all over Asia, whereas china is more acceptable in 1st world countries and plastic scorned upon as the cheap throw away alternative only used for picnics.

It was heart warming to watch the little naked boys playing in the sea again. Of course as soon as they saw I had a camera it was ‘Hello Mister, photo’. That’s the nice thing about digital, as soon as you take the photo you can show it to them, which is responded to with infectious giggling and broad smiles. I once saw a girl in Cambodia taking photos with a Polaroid camera. The best shots she got were the looks on the kid’s faces as their image appeared on the paper by magic.

Aid workers are slowly trickling back into East Timor; many have been here before so we are seeing the return of some die hard divers at our door. We had one guy from the Red Cross enquiring about diving at the weekend that had been a regular customer 4 years before. So the plan is to go diving on Saturday, not sure where yet, that all depends on the situation, but I can’t wait to get working again.

Sod the limes! Peace will do – East Timor 29/5/06

In times of civil unrest, refugees, water shortages and burnt out houses, it really pisses you off when someone moans that they are really fed up with the situation because they can’t buy any petrol! To put some perspective on this, Wayne and the TV crew saved a 12 year old boy from being beheaded by a rival gang yesterday, so this whinging didn’t go down too well, obviously.

It’s reported that 50,000 refugees are in 35 camps around the city of Dili. Talking to a representative of World Aid last night, their problem is that the Timorese drivers are too scared to go to the camps so food is not being delivered. I've offered voluntary services to both World Aid and IMO (The International Organisation for Migration), but so far they haven’t taken me up on it. What they really need drivers that know the backstreets of Dili like the back of their hand.

We had our first glimpse of the Australian troops today, an armoured vehicle hurtling past the house, god it was noisy. One of the British Embassy staff agreed last night we are probably in the safest area of Dili. If trouble starts in Embassy Alley then it’s definitely time to leave the country.

Over 1000 troops have been deployed to East Timor. The Australian troops are focussing on disarming the rebels. One of the journalists had a great shot of a pile machetes, swords, arrows and axes, on top of which was a nice pair of hairdressers scissors with pink plastic handles. It reminds me of airport checks for nail clippers.

To top it all we had a phone call from one of our regular divers, he was sitting with a bloke that was stuck here for 10 days (probably on a visa run), who wanted to know if he could get some diving in while he was here. Well if the safety situation and the weather situation calm down in the next few days, then bring it on! This slightly unrealistic request did make us smile.