Johnny the tooth is back! – East Timor 1st November 2006

Wayne and Ann came in excitedly the other day to grab some money. ‘We’ve found Johnny the Tooth’ they exclaimed’, which is probably the single best piece of news we have had in a long time. Johnny was our mobile off licence and cigarette vendor with a pitch right opposite the dive centre, he disappeared in May when all the troubles started and we haven’t seen him since. Wayne and Ann found him at the Pertamina Market selling a meagre 3 packets of clove cigarettes (popular with the locals). Ann bought a packet and slipped Johnny $40. Johnny in his usual way, didn’t smile (probably due to the absence of teeth), but gave Ann a nod of his head while his eyes were like saucers.

The day after ‘The Sweeney’ scene, we were woken at 6.50am but shouting outside. We got up to see a guy from the East being frogmarched into the ‘Western’ village next to us. The guy was driving along in a taxi which was stoned by the village, he then tried to make a run for it when he was caught, frogmarched to the village, beaten up and stabbed. Luckily it wasn’t fatal. This apparently was in retaliation for the similar treatment the Xefi (Chief) of the village had received from Easterners and who is now recovering in hospital.

Rumours are rife around Dili. The press report about two headless bodies was apparently not true. However, two bodies were found under Pertimina Jetty (one of our dive sites!) on Friday. The rumour going around the local Timorese is that they were shot and dumped by the Australian Forces which is totally ridiculous. However it has sparked a warning that Australians are now being targeted so be extra vigilant. So we have stuck the British flag on our cars!

It doesn’t help the situation that Ice is being supplied to the gangs of young boys. Not only are they, bored, unemployed and resentful, they are now high as kites and think that they are invincible, just like the hero’s in the pirate copies of Rambo and the Terminator that are pedalled on the streets.

Electricity cuts are becoming more and more frequent in Dili, up to three hours at a time, which you don’t need coming into wet season where its hotter due to humidity. Also due to the season, mosquitoes are becoming more prevalent and in a country of malaria and dengue fever, and electric fan is a must, to keep them at bay. The electricity cuts are due to generators that are overdue servicing but mainly illegal bypassing of the meters. Electricity, like most things here, is very expensive, so increasing numbers are rerouting their electricity so its not going through the meter, hence some of the generators are trying to work at 75% over capacity and have to be periodically shut down. In a land with no legal consequence at the moment, the attitude is ‘Well everyone is doing it, so why shouldn’t I?’ It’s a bit like downloading music from the internet; it doesn’t seem illegal if you get away with it. Two nights ago we had another 3 hour cut. As soon as power came back on the CD player started up again with Santana’s – Turn your lights on! Freaky!

Bureaucracy here is not helping progress; it takes me back to my previous career working with the UK Government. Everything has to go through a paper trail and the sign off procedure for any spending is arduous and often the transaction cost ends up being more than the purchase. Well here it’s even worse, and universally they seem to have adopted the same bureaucratic model but with differing spending limits. I know of one organisation that anything over $5 needs to be signed off by the chief manager and then anything over $350 needs to be signed off by a committee. No wonder progress is slow.

One of my favourite ever students left last week. Tatyana was from Kazakhstan and worked for the National Red Cross in Timor. The warehouses when she arrived we chocker-block with supplies ‘In case of an emergency’, well what do you call this then! The hoarding mentally resulted in wasting money, they had a load of footballs that had been in the warehouse so long they had deflated and the plastic perished. They had spare parts for cars such as filters that were totally corroded because instead of using the oldest first, they had used the new ones, and hoarded the old ones ‘for an emergency’, duh! They even had spare parts for cars they no longer had. The cars were given to the hospital, but they couldn’t give the spare parts directly to the hospital because of their monetary value, they had to give them to the government who in turn could give them to the hospital! And I used to criticise UK Government procurement procedures.

When Grant first told me his girlfriend Tatyana was coming to East Timor and she wanted to learn to dive, he also warned me that she would be a challenge as up until 2 years previously she wouldn’t even put her head in the water. What Grant didn’t emphasise however, was that Tatyana was a pretty determined lady, so several extra confined water sessions, a couple of abortive open water dives and an ear infection later, I certified Tatyana as a PADI Open Water Diver. She even went on to do a couple of Adventure dives with me, including Deep, towards her Advanced course. The great thing about Tatyana, was as soon as she managed to get underwater, she adored it. And she was constantly smiling with delight underwater; it’s was a pleasure just seeing her face. On her third and fourth open water dives at Dili Rock we saw a large white tip reef shark. Not sure how she would react, I checked with her first before going down to see it; she loved it, not phased in the slightest.

Tatyana and Grant had a leaving do at one of Dili’s beachside restaurants. They set up a laptop and projector and showed all their East Timor photos set to music while we had pre-dinner drinks as the sun set in the background. It created a fantastic atmosphere. The theme of the party was ‘Blue’, as they were both feeling blue to be leaving. I struggled to find respectable blue clothing in my limited wardrobe, but managed it. Tatyana had painted blue teardrop on her face and Grant made a fashion statement by painting his toenails blue.


After dinner Tatyana made speeches and handed out traditional gifts that she had bought with her from Kazakhstan. After presenting gifts to her work colleagues, she said ‘I would like to give this last gift to someone who has made such a difference to my life in East Timor, my dive instructor’. She then gave me a traditional tapestry pencil case/purse from Kazakhstan. I was really touched, but that’s what’s nice about working here rather than a resort, you get to know your students, spend what time you need with them and see them improve and gain confidence.

We went to Calamity Jane’s leaving do a couple of weeks ago. Jane was head of disaster management and got the nickname calamity Jane, because every time she went abroad for a seminar etc. there seemed to be a calamity in East Timor, cyclone warning, earthquake warning, civil unrest etc. She also had the nickname of Lady Jane as she was the most stylishly dressed woman in Dili. Satin shoes with kitten heels are not the most practical attire for dusty, potholed Dili, but Jane didn’t care. She was leaving to go to a new job in Barbados, so Wayne spent 2 hours downloading the song ‘Woah, were going to Barbados!’ (Yes, our internet is really that slow). Wayne played the song at the party (after the nightly electricity cut), much to Jane’s delight and Rob’s annoyance as she proceeded to play it constantly for the next 24 hours

Thursday was a UN holiday so we took a load of divers over on the boat to the Island of Atuaoro On the way we saw dolphins playing and jumping out of the water followed by a pod of pilot whales. Yesterday we were at K41 diving and the snorkellers had seen a couple of humpback whales, so on the way back we were scouring the sea for signs of them. Finally we saw a water spout so pulled off the road to another dive site, Secret Garden. After a few minutes we saw the water spout again and the whale rise out of the water. It was far off in the distance so you couldn’t see any detail, but it was my first humpback, and it’s great to know they are out there this season in East Timor’s waters.