No Drunking Bar!– East Timor 25th January 2008

There are more and more Malais around town with the UN and NGOs’s, which creates a higher demand for cars, accommodation and unfortunately, prostitutes. There also seems to be more IDP’s especially around the harbour area, so much so that they are camped out on the slipway causing problems for anyone trying to get their boat in and out of the water. The Harbour View cafe should be renamed the IDP View cafe because that’s all you can see.

So why are there increases in the IDP’s? There are a few reasons; one, some people cannot move home because other people have moved into their homes. Two, the government is offering payouts for the IDP’s to move, but you have to be an IDP in the first place to get the money. Three, which is the most concerning, is if you move out to an IDP camp, you get free water, free rice and in some cases electricity and satellite TV and you can rent your house out to a Malai for $1000 per month. Given that the average wage is $2 per day, even if you have 3 members of the family working you would still make a 455% profit, a bit of a no brainer!

In a recent clampdown around 100 prostitutes and pimps were arrested and are now sitting in jail awaiting deportation. It’s mainly Chinese girls that come in on tourist visas. Several bars have been closed down including one that proudly announces it is a ‘No Drunking Bar’. You can’t get a drink but you can buy a girl.

In East Timor if you are looking prosperous (i.e. a bit porky) it’s a good thing, it means you can afford to eat. Whereas if you are looking dark, it’s a bad thing as fair is beautiful. I was talking to a New Zealand cop and on the same day we had both been insulted. I was looking for a bicycle as mine had been nicked on Xmas Eve. $200 was out of my price range so I asked to see bikes around the $70-$100 price range. I was shown one without gears, but I was advised by the shop assistant not to buy it because, quote ‘In two weeks it will break because your body is so big!’ Similarly the NZ cop was told after returning from holiday, by one of the waitresses at the Espalanda ‘Manna (sister) your skin is so black! Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

Crash helmets are supposed to be compulsory, but unfortunately you get a family of five on a moped but only the driver is wearing a helmet and usually they are the thin plastic helmets that don’t come anywhere near to the safety helmets required for skateboarding in the US. I saw the classic today; a motorcyclist had a helmet which had split, so he had fixed it with bright yellow cable ties. Unfortunately, he had not trimmed the cable ties so his helmet looked like he had a bright yellow Mohican.

I’ve found a semi reliable taxi driver to take me to work. Most taxi drivers in Dili must develop back problems as they black out their windscreen so far down that they have to stoop to see out of it. Manuel is no exception, he’s not only got blacked out windows, but he’s got about 8 inches of unadulterated windscreen to peer out of. The difference with Manuel is he doesn’t have a huge woofer in the back of his cab, so you are not tortured with over loud Indo music and only hearing the base. Manuel plays West Life and has Air Conditioning. One of his first comments to me was ‘My Taxi is my God’, given that most Timorese taxis don’t sound like they are going to make it to your destination, I’ve decided to give Manuel a go.

We have had so much rain recently that most people are coming down with either stomach problems or mosquito related diseases. Touch wood, I’ve managed to avoid both. The weather though doesn’t do much for business; however it’s a great time to do rescue courses. The worse the conditions, the better the course. Some days, after heavy downpours of rain, it’s like diving in England, but without the cold. There is one advantage of poor visibility though; you can get much closer to the fish. Dili Rock on Thursday I had an amazing dive.